Amy Jean

This post comes to you with a heavy and a hopeful heart. Today, Amy, our daughter, will head back to the states for school. She will spend her summers here, but will spend nine months at school in Austin every year. To be honest, her seven months here in Africa were very difficult. She struggled greatly, and we found ourselves in multiple conversations asking each other if she should be here or not. It has been so difficult to watch five of us quickly become a part of this culture and the people He had called us here to serve, and then watch one member of the family struggle. People would say things like, “If God calls you, He calls the entire family”, and then we would look at our family and wonder. We would pray and ask God, “What do we do when the place we are sent is killing our daughter’s soul and hardening her heart, yet the rest of the family knows this is where we should be?”

We would look at passages like Luke 14:26-27 and really ask, “Is this what He is talking about?” Do I love Jesus so much that I would send my daughter back home at fifteen while we continue to serve halfway around the world? I know that following Jesus should make our life different than the world around us and I know that following Christ has radical implications, but this radical? Really God?

One of the reasons we came to Africa was because we didn’t want to just be moved by stories about people who do radical things for Jesus. We wanted to respond to Him regardless of the call. We didn’t want to just assume such radical actions are for “extreme” Christians – Jesus freaks. We didn’t want to gauge our morality, and our risk for Jesus by comparing ourselves to others. We didn’t want to say we love Jesus, but have Him be only a part of our life. We didn’t want to give Him just a part of our time, money, thoughts, effort…and family. You get the idea. We didn’t want to be continually concerned about playing it safe, and resisting what He was calling us to. Safe equals protection, comfort, and stability – all good things. But, the problem with safe is you lose the opportunity for risk, for failure, and for redemption. We knew this question of what was best for Amy did not have an easy, or safe, answer, and we fell on our faces before Jesus.

Mark 10:17 (and many other passages) have been key for us since God first brought Africa to our hearts. No different in this situation. The problem with this passage is we (more correctly I) make this passage powerless by saying it is not for everybody, so therefore it is certainly not for me. He was talking to that man about his particular “idols”, not me – passage dismissed. You know, the “What Jesus really means is…” and then we (read, I) adjust scripture to fit our lives… But, if you are a follower of Christ it is possible that God could ask us to give up anything and everything.

So here we sat, feeling like this is what is best for Amy, knowing it would be painful, many won’t understand, some will judge and disagree, yet knowing we had to respond. We had so many good excuses why we shouldn’t send her back, yet we knew we should. So, we decided to release her. There are still details we are working through, like, how does our parenting work from halfway around the globe and this wasn’t in our budget. But we are full of peace and hope. So, we put her on a plane tonight. Tomorrow afternoon her grandparents, uncle, the Smith’s and Kelsey Baird will pick her up in Austin and a new chapter begins. Pray for us & pray for her.